I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD SINGS
by Maya Angelou
In this, the first of seven autobiographies, Maya Angelou revisits her childhood. At the age of three she and her brother Bailey (aged four) are, without explanation, put on a train by their father and sent to live with their father's mother. For several years they have no direct contact with their parents and often wonder what they did that was so awful their parents gave them away. One day, out of the blue, their father visits. His arrival prompts deep anxiety in Maya and Bailey. When he announces his intention to take them away from their grandmother to meet their mother they become overwhelmed. In this extract, the adult Maya reflects on the impact of this announcement on her young brother:
"How could an eight-year-old contain that much fear? He swallows and holds it behind his tonsils, he tightens his feet and closes the fear between his toes, he contracts his buttock and pushes it up behind the prostate gland."
Bailey's young body is flooded with fear, a natural reaction to his sense of impending danger. However, as a child, his options for action are limited. He is at the mercy of the adults around him and has little - if any - agency to influence the situation. Just as an animal may freeze to avoid attracting attention or provoking a potential aggressor, so Bailey finds a way to contain his inner turmoil.
When we sense danger our bodies spontaneously release hormones, readying us for action. Our hearts pound and our muscles tense. Once the danger has passed, our bodies generally return to a resting state. Anyone experiencing repeated exposure to actual or potential danger, however, may find their bodies in a permanent state of heightened awareness. Over time, this takes not only an emotional toll but a physical one, too. Muscles that are permanently tense impact the body's ability to function optimally.
Thanks to the brain's remarkable ability to adapt, it's never too late to take steps towards something new, whether that involves changing your situation or finding new, more healthful ways of coping.
